"Get in quickly!" Arsenal Fan says.
I'm standing in the doorway to his house, covered in snow and somewhat perturbed that it has taken me almost two hours to do a journey from South West London to South East London. Particularly when the snow on the ground, at this stage at least, consists of what I can only describe as a light dusting.
It is times like this when I roll my eyes.
Thankfully Arsenal Fan has already put the heating on and goes about making me some much needed coffee.
"I did think that if you'd asked me to come to yours and I'd looked out of the window and seen all of the snow I would have stayed at home" Arsenal Fan says when I have thawed out enough that it is safe to say this.
"And this is where I can - for once - point out that I am Northern and I scoff at your Southern idea of snow".
I smile, resplendent in Northern Superiority.