"There!" I hiss in my most discrete manner "Deer in Headlights!"
We're sitting in the recently re-jigged common room which is all mis-matched sofas, arty displays and overpriced food which contains far too much tomato and cheese for my liking. But I do not hold that particular fact against it; that it is neither School Canteen nor Corporate Coffee Shop From Hell ranks it highly in my thinking.
Arsenal Fan looks to where I have gestured.
I smile. I am, after all, trained in this spotting malarky. It had to come in useful at some point.
"If only Charming Canadian was here!"
Arsenal Fan is already reaching for his phone.
"I'm texting him!"
It is probably worth noting that during some long and meandering conversation around the same time that it was decided that the boys would start a blog it was also decided that Charming Canadian would marry Deer in Headlights. His commitment to the cause, despite the fact the two have never spoken, is admirable.
Almost instantly Arsenal Fan's phone beeps.
"He says - 'Maintain eye contact'!"
Given that Deer in Headlights is sitting so that her back is to us the eye contact thing would be something of a problem. Though I suspect that this is one case where I wouldn't have to worry about the whole don't look into the eyes thing. I suspect (excluding a major decision regarding lifestyle choices) I am safe from the pull of Deer in Headlights.
"But is he coming?"
It is the important question.
"I'm just asking him now".
"See " I say leaning back into my sofa, somewhat smug given that it was my idea to meet in the Common Room, "this is why this place rocks".
Arsenal Fan has to concede my point. What with me being right and everything.
Almost as soon as the confirmation comes that Charming Canadian is on his way I see him half-run down the ramp into the room. He is slightly, only slightly, out of breath as he greets us and we gesture as to where his future wife is sitting.
"You were quick".
"And the thing is I was still in bed when I got the text".
"You were in bed?!" I cannot hide my incredulity. I have been known to be quick when the situation has required it but this is a whole new level.
Charming Canadian nods.
I am laughing, there is no way to prevent it. "So you got up, dressed and here in ten minutes?"
"Yes!" he exclaims.
There is nothing I can do but bow down to such commitment.
If Deer in Headlights doesn't marry him after this then there is clearly something very, very wrong with the world.