"We're not doing anything!" comes the shriek from inside W H Smiths.
"I'll take her out" Arsenal Fan says, and I am unceremoniously marched back out onto the concourse at London Bridge Train Station. Wherein Arsenal Fan and I talk about everything other than why he, Charming Canadian and Surfer Girl were in the shop.
This is made somewhat more comical by the fact that Charming Canadian and Surfer Girl become embroiled in the longest queue known to mankind, so long that there is the possibility we might miss both my dinner and Breakfast Club Boy's play.
As a distraction Arsenal Fan reveals that both he and Charming Canadian are wearing proper-shirts in my honour. I beam. Next step: why jeans are a little bit evil.
Eventually Charming Canadian and Surfer Girl emerge.
"Are we in the right key?"
They stand in front of me and sing 'Happy Birthday' with little regard for tune or tone as Wednesday night commuters pass by looking bemused.
I laugh and it is all just a little bit wonderful.