Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Wherein I Do Not Always Understand Boys

Wherein I Do Not Always Understand Boys

"Why are glasses which go [I mime the image of a not-quite wine glass because I can think of no suitable word] acceptable but half pint glasses aren't?".

It is 1.30pm in the afternoon and, for once, I will be able to file one of our conversations without using the label 'drunk'. In fact I haven't had any alcohol for two days. History Boy is doing even better on account of having contracted my flu thing and, because he is a boy and therefore dying, actually been to the Doctors and got proper medicine and everything which does not allow him to drink. But, obviously, if we are not drinking then we are talking about alcohol. It's that or Eurovision, and as I have my suspicions that History Boy is not a fan of the latter we're settling on easier territory.

History Boy puts down his (pint glass) of water. This is obviously serious.

"You can have those [he does the international hand signal for the not-quite-wine-glass] because they're the glasses which come with that type of beer. It's part of the brand".

He says this as if it is the most normal, reasonable explanation in the world. I do not point out the numerous holes in this - not least the fact that if this argument were carried through it would mean that if a proper wine glass came as part of the brand it would be deemed acceptable.

He pauses for a second to allow the weight of the issue to settle.

"You can't have a half pint glass -"

He expels the words from his mouth as with the force that I would give to The Daily Mail or We Will Rock You; a bad taste waiting to escape.

"because -"

It lingers. I can tell he is searching for the least offensive word he can muster.

"they're effeminate".

It pings out. But before I can pounce he continues -

"And, anyway, it's a volume thing. You still get a pint in the [international sign for not-quite-wine-glass]. Volume will always win".

This is, of course, from the man with the huge iPod. It strikes me that at some point we're going to have to have a conversation about why size isn't everything.

But, for now at least, I just get to feel smug.

1 comment:

Nik said...

half pint glasses piss me off; just order a damn pint glass, grr. also, guys who think girls should order half pints piss me off too.