"Did you go to the theatre last night?" Bar Boy asks.
"No, I was working here" I reply handing over a collection of used cups because I am nice (not to mention slightly anal) and still help tidy up even though I could sit in my office and play minesweeper instead. "Why?"
"I just heard that some people had gone" Bar Boy pauses "You know, [History Boy] and I thought...".
Obviously my first response should probably be along the lines that there are lots of things that HB and I do not do together. But why would I do that when I could thrust myself into this mess further?
"He wasn't out last night".
"He wasn't?" Bar Boy looks at me.
"He was at work". I emphasise the last bit because it undoubtedly needs emphasising. I do not add that I remember this because he was wearing comedy socks which I mocked during fire checks.
"But I thought..." Bar Boy is looking distinctly confused as he starts to clean the coffee shop counter.
"Maybe it was another night" I offer, primarily to underline the fact that History Boy does not have to run his schedule past me.
"Maybe..." Bar Boy says as he looks up and, without thinking, presses his spray bottle so that a stream of disinfectant comes hurtling towards me, covering the right side of my jumper.
We look at each other in silence as we acknowledge what has just happened.
"Accident" Bar Boy says, wanting to make sure that this is not added to the bucket on head, tickling and general disruption list. "I'm sure it'll be good for your jumper".
Whether it is good to spend the rest of the day smelling of disinfectant is another thing entirely. I scowl as best I can given that Bar Boy just somehow manages to get away with these things.
"I'll remember this" I say as I walk off with as much dignity as a mildly soggy person can manage.
Just as I get to my office I hear Bar Boy's voice "Sorry [History Boy], I think I just got you in trouble".
There is nothing else I can do, I tap my head against the door.