Sunday, April 08, 2007

The Dreaming Spires

The Dreaming Spires

"I heard you put the ice creams on to a chair"

"Yes. I'm too tall to balance them on the railing, so a chair..."

"Good thinking". I only let it pass because of the sheer cheek if I'm honest.

"This is what happens when you have a degree from Oxford". It's said lightly and I clock that this is the first time I've heard History Boy, always more aware of sounding arrogant than I am, evoke this.

"You can work out it's easier to put ice creams on a chair?"

"Exactly".

There's a pause, I can tell that something is coming.

"There's one thing that an Oxford degree doesn't teach you though".

"What?" I ask with only minor trepidation.

"It doesn't teach you how to fold the chair back down".

It's unprofessional but I can't help it, I start to laugh. Hard.

"I did try, but it wouldn't seem to fold down".

I stop laughing long enough to manage a sentence "So it's still up, inside the theatre?"

"Yes" comes the mildly embarrassed reply.

"I'd better go see". I turn round and make my way into the Courtyard Theatre, History Boy on my heels.

It's only when I see the chair that I remember that I can't put these chairs down either. I can't collapse a deck chair so what hope do I have with a flash metal one?

"Erm, I've never actually put one of these down" I say, rather apologetically. There goes my employee of the year award. "I have seen other people do it though". Not that this means much, I've seen people drive too, it doesn't mean you'd put me in charge of your new car.

I make a feeble attempt to collapse it. The chair stays resolute in its defiance.

"It looks like it should -" History Boy demonstrates with the seat section which moves tantalisingly before refusing to go any further.

We struggle on, somewhat bewildered, for what must be sixty seconds but which feels like at least seven hours. Eventually - though not without getting History Boy's foot caught - the chair concedes the battle and folds down.

We look at each other.

"We never speak of this again, ok".

1 comment:

Nik said...

Well judging by how I can collapse one of your ice cream tables on my own, I bet I could collapse that chair. But then you'd have to pay me...