Tuesday, January 02, 2007

On Not Reading Ulysses

On Not Reading Ulysses

At the start of 2006 I had the foolish/not too bad/ not entirely original [delete as applicable] idea of blogging some resolutions thus allowing me to return to them 12 months later and show what a good/determined/focussed woman of my word that I am. Or at least I think that might have been the plan. I don't quite remember.

Regardless, it would be remiss of me not to return to those resolutions, if only so you can point and laugh.

1. Read half of James Joyce's Ulysses.

Erm, well, there was this thing you see and the hamster ate my copy of Ulysses. And I would have bought a new one but Borders had sold out in a freak James Joyce rush.

The truth? I started with much enthusiasm for this one; planning to knuckle down in the second half of the year. Obviously when the second half of the year came I was too preoccupied with pretty actors and books that I actually thought that I might enjoy and, predictably, Ulysses never even made it off of my bookshelf.

This did, however, give me yet another reason to heart David Tennant: "Read it, moved on. No, I've always thought Ulysses might be too far up its own bum". Just how perfect is this man?

2. Complete at least one NEW major piece of writing (20,000 words +)

Corinne's New Play stands at 15,304 words. The Four Right Chords hit a huge 23,217 during its second draft and I've been attempting to cut 3,000 off of it (with middling success) in the last few weeks. 'REM's Back Catalogue' hit 1,699 in its performed version (probably hinting towards why it took more than five minutes to perform). 'The Ballad of Alan Smith' was a relatively tiny 437 and 'Bus Stop' stands at an unfinished 555. Which probably does not fulfil this resolution to the letter but I'm going to give myself this one as I've come to think that 20,000 words is unweildy for a play. Or at least a play that isn't written by Shakespeare.

3. Update everything on DA that needs updating.

Yes, yes and again yes. And whilst I might not have tackled the archives I have added tags to almost 200 of my blog entries. Ooo, I'm smug.

4. Find a new Quiz Night.

I did try, this just suffered because i)Quiz Nights are invariably the nights that I am working and ii)we didn't find one we could win at. Which is possibly the most important criteria for a Quiz Night. At least we never came last.

5. Learn to play 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' on the guitar.

I won't even pretend I tried. And to add insult to blatant disregard of resolutions my guitar now has two broken strings.

6. Make my entry in Becky's Special Book more respectable.

Erm, yes I might have. I certainly didn't send 'stop the flipping clock' texts.

7. Be able to say "I'm a writer" even when I'm sober.

I'm not quite sure when or how this happened but I kind of can. Even though I must confess that I don't particularly feel like one at the moment what with Christmas season playing havoc with my time.

8. Go to the Edinburgh Festival/ see a play at the Globe.

I saw Titus Andronicus at the Globe in May. Which counts in somewhat spectacular style as it was one of my favourite productions of the year.

I was fairly close to going up to Edinburgh but it got far too wound up in the whole soap opera with C and I decided that it would be a lot of money to spend on something I wasn't really in the mood to do. So I had cocktails at the Evil Eye instead. Thus I reckon I get to transfer this one due to circumstances.

9. Continue Team DA's mission to take over the world.

Bit of a stop and start one I have to confess. Let's just say that Team DA is waiting to pounce.

10. Non-Stalk Various Members of the Radio One Breakfast Team.

Well, Nik and I were always going to triumph on this one, weren't we? And in the quest we also managed to come into contact with practically every mainstream Radio One DJ. Rock on.

So I make that a total of 6.5 out of 10 and given that I only totally wussed out on two of them I don't think I did too badly. I mean, not great, but that's a got to be a B- right?

Because I really haven't learnt a lesson from this (other than that there will probably always be something more appealing than Ulysses to read) tomorrow I'm going to blog my 10 resolutions for 2007. Which gives me 24 hours to work out who's going to get that all important number 10 non-stalking spot. Any minor celebrities who are interested, feel free to drop me a gmail.

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