Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song

There was a time when I didn't like the fact that Chris Moyles had been given the Radio One Breakfast Show. I was a Sara Cox fan through and through, I liked her style, I liked Chappers and Matt - but Chris Moyles. No, I had lots of prejudices about him. Because anyone who proclaims themselves 'The Saviour' has to be slightly dubious.

Fast forward a few years and I love The Chris Moyles Breakfast Show. I would go so far as to say I would be gutted if it wasn't blasting out of my radio on a morning. Chris doesn't irritate me as much as I thought he might - he's genuinely funny - and I adore the rest of the team. I may even say that I have something of a little crush on the show's Director of Comedy, Comedy Dave. With a job title like that I was always going to love him.

So getting tickets to 'Chris Moyles Karaoke' was a very, very exciting thing indeed. Yes, I'm aware that 'Chris Moyles Karaoke' is woefully in need of an apostrophe and an 's' but that's what the tickets loudly proclaim. Discovering that said karaoke which may or may not involve singing 'Chris Moyles' repeatedly was in a student union with student union bar prices was even more exciting. Because being able to buy two drinks for under three pounds is always going to please me.

And it was obviously met with much joy by everyone as inhibitions, good sense and any claims at musical prowess were left lying on the floor. Chris opened with a rendition of 'Ghostbusters' - complete with Michael Jackson stylee moves on the dance floor - and the evening meandered through such classics as 'I Will Survive' [sports reader, Carrie], 'I Got You Babe' [Comedy Dave and Jo Whiley] and 'Especially For You' [two Dundonian Girls who didn't know all the words. I obviously did because you all know how much I loved Jason Donovan. And if you didn't, let me tell you I loved him lots and lots and lots in the way that you only can when you're seven years old]. Colin Murray got up looking quite hairy and quite skinny [no, I don't understand the attraction either. And his feet smell. Apparently] and sung an Elvis song dedicated to his very pretty and very blonde girlfriend whilst Edith Bowman stood behind Nik and I and whistled. Jo Whiley and Scott Mills massacred 'Laura', somewhat understandably as neither of them knew the words and Scott was, and I quote, "arseholed". It was Vernon Kay though who took proceedings to new heights with his rendition of 'Relight My Fire' complete with Take That dance moves. And there is nothing like some boyband dancing to get a crowd roaring. Or at least get a crowd of drunken women roaring.

My own roaring got into full swing when Aled, butt of a good 70% of Chris's jokes/wrath on a daily basis, stepped on stage, attempted to remedy the fact that he wasn't drunk enough by downing a shot and launched into his '(Is this the way to) Aberystwyth?' complete with the words on a piece of paper in his hand. So, so cute. And mildly surreal.

My ultimate highlight [other than the bar prices and blagging two of the big 'Radio One' posters that were hanging behind the karaoke stage] was the - possibly misguided - duet between Comedy Dave and Breakfast Show producer Rachel - 'I've had the time of my life'. For anyone who listens to the show you may well have heard them sing before as their duets have passed into drunken legend. If you don't listen to the show then say thanks for the fact your ears haven't been damaged by this particular legend. As it was it was completely, utterly, amazingly terrible. So bad that it was jaw achingly hilarious.

Maybe because of all the vodka and rum I wasn't aware of the relative merits of those who stepped up to the mic. Indeed I came away with the general impression that everyone had been quite good. Quite good in respect of the event having the word 'karaoke' in it anyway. It was only on Monday morning when some of the audio was played on Radio One that I realised how completely off key everyone had been. The word 'good' probably shouldn't have been in the same paragraph, let alone in the same sentence. And I was mildly impressed that - knowing that their efforts would end up on national radio at some point - they'd all taken part. Because it can't be good for the ego. I know, I've had the misfortune to catch my own voice on audio enough to realise this.

The entire evening was rather like being witness to a drunken group of friends letting rip at the office party, only with the added bonus that - hey - this group of friends is one I hear on the radio most days. I think the word would be surreal. Made only more so as we ended up talking about spam and the fact I don't look anything like the-other-Corinne to Chris's friend Longman. So - thankfully - this time it wasn't all about the music.


Nik said...

but i really don't like spam!

Nik said...

also, if i tell you a story I read on the Radio 1 website you are not allowed to use it to be mean about Colin, even as an undertone!