So it turns out that I was letting you off lightly with the Coreen thing. You are in fact a Cerinne. Which means that you can't move to France. Or you could but it wouldn't help you with the pronunciation thing. It might help my rapidly decreasing grasp on sanity though, so please don't dismiss it out of hand.
I would request that, given the urgency of the issue at stake, you rectify the situation within the next 24 hours to avoid further distress.
P.S. If you could also make sure that radio presenters don't refer to you as a 'posh sounding Corinne from Leeds' I would be more than grateful. My ego will only allow for there to be one of us out there.