Thursday, March 09, 2006

I Bet Corin Redgrave Doesn't Have To Put Up With This Crap

I Bet Corin Redgrave Doesn't Have To Put Up With This Crap

Dear the-other-Corinne,

I think that it's fair to say I've dealt with the whole issue of name theft in a sensible and mature manner, at least after the initial bout of swearing and tantrums anyway. Because, if I'm honest, I like your music. And you have a funky website. So I - rather magnanimously I feel - decided that I would allow you to keep your name - providing that you became known either as CBR or the-other-Corinne. I'm nice like that.

So we've been getting on well recently with this new arrangement. I'm even going to come and see you on your tour. And, what with all the googles I've been getting on your behalf (most often with a mis-spelling), I've warmed to you further. But then this morning it was brought to my attention that you were on national radio mis-pronouncing Corinne. I'm hoping this was a slip of the tongue or a weary bowing down to inevitablity in the same way that I have ceased to correct people on the pronunciation of my name otherwise I'd spend at least ten minutes of every day doing it. If the mis-pronouncing thing is for neither of the above reasons then we have a problem - one which no amount of fancy websites will get you out of.

I'm going to say it quickly, like ripping off a plaster. Are you a Coreen masquerading as a Corinne? Because if you are this has serious implications. Especially with you getting properly famous first. Without glossing over the issue - this will put the cause of Corinne Pronunciation back by at least a decade. All of the work that I've done in educating people will be lost in a wave of Coreens. More people than already do will call me Coreen. And it will be your fault.

Having thought about what action you can take should this be the case, I can see three possible solutions:

1. You stop being famous. Withdraw the album. Cancel the tour.

2. Move to France and become a French citizen which would mean that you can have the French pronunciation without inflicting it on us Anglo-Saxon Corinnes.

3. You break your twenty something year habit and adopt the correct pronunciation. Co-rin. You try it. See, it's much easier - not to mention phonetically correct if we're going by the rules of English.

I accept that solution one may be a bit harsh - though I'm sure you'll understand that such desperate times need desperate measures - and I'm not sure how you stand on France in general (though it is a good place to buy badges with my name on if you didn't know) so I'm leaning towards solution three. Not only would it prevent me combusting it would also allow you to continue my education mission.

If I may be so bold, once you've confirmed your intention to adopt solution three I think it would be a good idea to issue a press release with the pronunciation details on, just to clear things up once and for all. Of course, I am available for consultation on this should you so desire and am willing to offer any support that I can during the adjustment phase.


Corinne. (the real one)


Nik said...

I heard that this morning. I can't believe she pronounces it wrong. I have lost all faith in her and will, from now on, be calling her Berlin thus rendering you the one and only* Corinne.

*Even though Gayle stole our song...

Nik said...

Have just realised her song was playing on the radio whilst I was typing that.

Nik said...

taken from the Radio 1 Breakfast Show running order:

7.48 - Celebrity Tarzan clip and we finally find out how to pronounce Corrinne Bailey Rae

Can the next lesson be SPELLING?!!!

gayle said...

I was fuming on your behalf when I heard her this morning!

Billygean said...

Trust me, I understand.

Yours truly,

Gilligan/Julian/Gill with a definite "G" sound and not a J sound/Jill with a J despite it having a G with a J sound.


Anonymous said...

The name Corinne is originally French, so the French pronunciation is actually more correct. The English version of the name is Corinna. Both of these are derivatives of the Greek word Kore, which means maiden and was an alternate name of Persephone.