Friday, July 01, 2005

Would Coza Please Come To The Diary Room

Would Coza Please Come To The Diary Room

Having left you with only a random Paddy Marber conversation for company, I managed to watch - and scream a little bit - at some tennis, laugh and get slightly cold during some outdoor Shakespeare (review to come, you lucky, lucky people) and finish off my entry for The Play's The Thing. Yes - that means I can now officially say that I have applied to appear on a reality tv show. And you know just how much I've always wanted to be able to say that.

In the quick revision process I had to contend with one of the characters changing their background almost entirely and thus creating a great-gaping-hole in the motivation/action stakes. If that wasn't enough I realised that as The Four Right Chords stands Griffin might be well within his rights to sue my arse off. Not because it's his story - there's no reality tv bit in there - but it remains that whatever I attempt to do with Ben, the central character, he's coming out a bit Griffin-esque. Without the Rigsby impressions, thankfully. But Griffin-esque nontheless. Which means two things. One - I haven't found 'Ben's voice' yet. That doesn't worry me too much, in the first draft of SSoB the only character who had his own voice was Will, whilst in the second draft I think four of the six characters have their own voices. Two - it means that I have to do something to stop this drift. It's ok for me to put myself on stage in various guises. It's not ok for me to put a mangled Griffin up there. Especially in the context of this play. If I'll willing steal bits from people's lives I don't want to steal something that might be too close to home for all concerned. Plus in real terms I don't know Griffin and I don't know how he'd feel abut this. Maybe we could do some writerly trade off. Or he could accept it as his punishment for being (I assume) the source of the Dancing Bear fiasco. Or he could be flattered that some of his quirks are being immortalised. And, anyway, if end up famous, winning a Nobel Prize in the process (I'm really not that fussy about which one) he will always be able to say that he wrote his name across my breasts. .Twice.

5 comments:

Reina said...

I'm in rather a worse position than you are with regards to the application. You see, were it an American reality show, I'd feel pretty iffy about appearing on it. But since it's British, it would have a neglible effect on my rep once I came home.

So, when I don't get on, I can't comfort myself by thinking that I at least avoided humiliation. Le sigh.

"Why did you choose this idea for "The Play's the Thing?"

"Because it is a play... that I'm writing....."

reina said...

Argh.

I take it back! My submission is totally invalid. Non-UK residents are not ok to enter. Bah. Total waste of about two hours.

I didn't catch this anywhere in the rules for some reason. I only found out about on the attached forum... which I couldn't get access to till after the deadline.

Oh well, Corinne! No co-stardom for us. You will have to wear skimpy tops without me. I wonder if I can still say I have officially applied to a reality TV show...

Corinne said...

Pah, I was looking forward to our skimpy top double act. I visted the forum once but found myself laughing at the am-dram hackery too much to stay there to find anything useful.

I think you can still tick the 'applied for reality tv' box though, I wouldn't want to deprive you of that achievement ;-)

reina said...

Hee hee. I know what you mean. "I've never written a play but I think it might be fun!" Do you think the producers of the show might bet shooting themselves in the foot with the pro-production exclusion clause? I mean, the people that apply will either be very young, or not terribly good.

Of course, the very young will look better in the preferred sort of reality tv top...

Corinne said...

The forum did make me wonder about the type of submission they're going to get (it does strike me that 90% of them are probably going to be unreadable). But they seem to have built that in - the 20 pages of script seemed almost an afterthought for the application process. Not to mention the fact they weren't interested in anything you might have written before.

It wouldn't surprise me if there's some heavy (and secret) co-writing going on when they've chosen the idea they like. Not that reality tv shows employ such underhand tactics ;-)

I very much doubt they're going to get anything that's truly West End play material with the clause about pro-productions. There's a reason that playwrights progress from the smaller theatres after all. Maybe I should have put 'I'm quite happy to wear skimpy tops' on the application somewhere...