Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Elephant Feet

Elephant Feet

I'm climbing up the stairs with my hands full of sub-contract correspondence.

"What have you done to your heels, Corinne?"

I pause and wince slightly. I can only muster two words.

"These shoes".

When I reach the office I look at my feet. In the heat - it's pushing 90 inside - my feet have swollen. Not just slightly, oh no. They look like someone has stuck a bicycle pump into them and pumped. And then kept pumping until long after the bicycle wheel would have exploded. Consequently the shoes that fit me this morning no longer do. Which, not to leave you in any doubt, hurts. I have a high pain threshold - I once went 24 hours with a broken arm - but skin being wrenched off of your feet? That hurts. And because I have developed elephant feet I seem to be losing skin from almost their entire surface. Did I mention that it hurts? IT HURTS. And, anyway, I've resigned myself to the fact that as well as losing half of my bodyweight in sweat and a high proportion of skin to my shoes I'm probably going to get blood poisoning from the wounds as well. Seriously, I knew someone who got blood poisoning from a blister. And I saw her blister and it wasn't a patch on what has happened to my feet. My feet make hers seem positively attractive.

I'm not sure the Health and Safety guy's going to be pleased. I'm certainly not.


Anonymous said...

And why oh why can they not invent plasters that stay on in hot have my sympathy!

Val said...

You do have a sense of the dramatic :) I also have blisters from wearing my new shoes - I only went round Tesco in them, so maybe they weren't such a bargain after all!!

gayle said...

Pffft, that's nothing. When I was 8 I went 2 weeks with a broken wrist (taking part in my school sports day and swimming gala) before a doctor seeing me for pneumonia (it was a bad month, OK?) diagnosed it. There followed an interesting few hours in which I was questioned about possible abuse by my parents. It's still handy for major guilt trips when I'm in the mood to annoy my mum.