Sunday, June 26, 2005

Location, Location, Location

Location, Location, Location

At the bottom of my street there used to be two car showrooms. Not particularly large ones, but two car showrooms nonetheless. At some point when I was in Oxford the occupants of the car showrooms moved to a new, bigger location. A location that was undoutedly better for not being on the end of my street. This movement, however, has left two empty buildings, progressively decaying over the months. It's the type of thing that has the neigbours worrying about houseprices even more than the current state of our drive. So, everyone is agreed, that something needs to be done about the empty building before the asbestos roof blows off and kills us all, or the graffiti artists get bored of the local commuter station and move to displaying their art form there. When a fridge was dumped there a few weeks ago the collective roar managed to reach me in Oxford. Admittedly with the aid of a telephone but, if I'd listened carefully enough, I suspect that I could have heard it without the help of Orange.

But, it would appear, there is one thing worse than an empty car showroom. For a planning application has been put in for something that probably rivals dumped-fridge in the house-price deminishing stakes.

Pizza Hut.

I don't think that the nearby residents have a problem against food eateries entirely. There's a chinese restaurant opposite would be Pizza Hut. Crucially, however, this is compact, low-key and not a chain with neon screaming lights. However comical the adverts may be Pizza Hut would seem to be a no-no. Pizza Hut which opens until 11:30pm is an even bigger no-no.

So, with speed that had me applauding their initiative [if mocking it slightly at the same time because hey, middle class arm chair activists are funny. I'm allowed to laugh at them. One day I will wind up in their ranks], the official Crossgates Miltants were formed and had their first meeting last week. I didn't go, due in part because I'm well out of their target demographic, though if I'm honest it had more to do with the fact that it clashsed heavily with the tennis but, in retrospect I rather wish I had. If only for the fact that I missed out on enough comedy material to fuel several radio plays as well as, more importantly, numerous blog entries. In a swelting hall, with little ventilation and even fewer chairs one woman spoke for 25 minutes on trees. Trees. I like trees. I'm sure you like trees. But 25 minutes on trees when you're supposed to be discussing the expanding empire of Pizza Hut is probably a bit much. If that wasn't enough, the chairman was moderately deaf, there was a rather loud woman who persisted in speaking in-the-same-tone-whatever-she-was-speaking-about and, best of all, was a true Militant. His idea that will cause him to go down with those great revolutionary leaders?

That six people should walk across the crossing outside the local shopping centre repeatedly, snarling up the road and causing disruption to the commercial sector of Crossgates.

I don't know why Lenin didn't think of that one.


Val said...

Ok, so who in your family did go? I agree about Pizza Hut but what would you do if they were suggesting building a MacDonalds?

Corinne said...

Both of my parents went, for revolutionary and comedy reasons I suspect.

The golden arches is another matter, entirely ;-)