Thursday, March 17, 2005

Sponsored By The Whitby Gazette

Sponsored By The Whitby Gazette

Wanted:

1. One set of pink plastic cups purchased for less than a pound in Tesco near the Hemel Hampstead roundabout from hell. Previously used to drink alcohol in and provide my toothbrush with somewhere nice to sit. Obviously not at the same time.

2. One clothes airer. Suitable for putting sheets over and pretending that you're in a tent. Or a palace. Or indeed anywhere your imagination may take you.

3. A new bottom to replace the one that is currently very bruised, my having slipped on the path near my room again. *

4. A pair of nicely tanned legs that don't have bruises on from walking into my desk chair. Repeatedly.***

Found:

1. One Pinter essay, slightly tatty from having been under my bed for no clear reason.

2. More SSoB fliers than even I could ever need.****

3. A term's worth of Whitby Gazettes. Minus Griffin pages.

Today's subtext? I spent last night and this morning packing to come home. And now I'm home and I have to unpack. Which makes the idea of being a snail suddenly overwhelmingly appealing.

*I accept that someone may be telling me to get my cowboy boots reheeled.**

**My mother's reponse was more direct - 'throw them in the bin'.

***You'd think that I'd learn - it's not like the chair jumped out and attacked me. But no. I did say that I'm not good with the literal thinking thing.

****You'd think that you could never have too many SSoB fliers, but after finding the one millionth flier that had managed to creep into my wardrobe, I beg to differ.

NB: For some reason blogger wouldn't let me publish this last night. So you're getting it now. Lucky you.

3 comments:

Ketsuban said...

Your idea of keeping one's toothbrush in alcohol is a truly revolutionary idea - would make brushing teeth a much more pleasant experience and dull any pain from stabbing myself in the gums.

Jude said...

Corinne - loving your work, you have been bookmarked!

Have you ever considered contacting those nice Guinness people about the number of additional notes it is possible to add to a blog entry? You may be in line for the world record....:)

Corinne said...

Ketsuban - having thought about it, you may be right. "As recommended by your friendly dentist - vodka".

Jude - thank you! As for the footnotes, it's a disease*; though now you've mentioned world records...

*But thankfully not one that involves boils. Or other such attractive skin complaints.